Today is the 40th day of my sabbatical. These last 10 days or so I have been back to studying which has been very nice. Learning is exhilarating. Yesterday, at the end of the day, Karen made the casual observation that I had an "easy" day. She was simply commenting on the fact that my day consisted of reading, eating and my daily bike ride. She was right but I felt my mind turn in on itself and begin frantically searching for something hard about the day. I came up with nothing. It was an easy day. I didn't like the feel of it at all. I like hard. There is something about hard work or a hard day or suffering or frustration that makes me feel good about myself. Maybe it is just me and a martyr complex but I don't think so. I remember reading the command by God to sabbath. He said for us to do it because it humbles our souls. There is something about an easy day that is humbling. Pride is an animal that can feed on just about anything. Always being in crisis, always being tired, always feeling like we work hard, that we don't sleep well, that we have too much to worry about, too much responsibility...all of it food. Food for a pride that is relentless. One of the things that I have discovered during this sabbatical is the thing that never rests is my pride. So, today I am looking toward another easy day. I will read and write a little, go for my bike ride, and let the rest humble my soul.
Friday, July 27, 2007
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God gave us rest for both our mind and body. I look foward to rest becouse it gives me a chance to watch the world fly by and reflect on Gods will in my life. Rest can even be a witness when someone is watching that we dont know about. Years past I would pray for rest. Now I am more specific, I got tired of getting sick every time I prayed for rest. Work fills a need in us so that we feel useful, but rest fills a need in God so that we are useful to Him
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